Monday, June 16, 2008

Enough Criticism Already

I feel that I'm the type of person that can take constructive criticism and not take it to heart. But enough is enough already. Sunday was Father's Day, but around here it felt more like Let's Criticize Donna Day. From my new haircut to how I'm raising my children, I got criticized all day long from my in-laws and my husband. These are some of the comments I got all day long.

I didn't clean the grill well enough.

Even though we keep it in the garage, I should buy a cover for it.

I should stop nursing my 9 month old and force her to take bottles.

I should spend more time away from her because she's too dependent on me and it's not fair to anyone else because all she does is cry when they hold her, and it's really not good for her to be so dependent on me.

"Oh, you got your hair cut." "Yeah, it's a little shorter than I really wanted to go, but I'm getting used to it." "Well, I guess it will grow back."

The grill is my domain. I do the cooking, and the grilling. I do clean it before and after every time I use it with the wire brush. I am not going to use a brillo pad every time - to me that defeats the purpose of cooking on a grill - less pans to clean.

Since when can a 9 month old baby be too dependent on her mother! Seeing as I'm the primary car provider, my husband works 6 - 7 days a week, and we don't have any family that lives close by that I can call on to help out on a regular basis, I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job! I want to nurse Budha until she's a year. I've discussed it with the doctor and we're both on the same page. I didn't get to do it with Bug because I had to go back to work and it just didn't work out for us after about 6 months. What's wrong with breastfeeding? It's the most natural and precious thing I can give to my daughter. And I'm tired of apologizing to people for continuing to breastfeed her - my husband included. I'm tired of people who aren't around to help me or even around to offer help (I do have a tendency to feel I need to do everything myself - especially when it comes to my own family) critiquing how I raise my children. I know I should find some mommy time, but by the same token I can't afford to pay a babysitter just so I can go to a book club or shopping alone. And with no family around for that extra little support. . . well it just really gets to me because it is family criticizing me.

And as for the haircut, I was already feeling self-conscious about it because I haven't had it this short in ages. And then to get the comment I got - it wasn't so much the words as it was the tone they were said in. That was just the icing on the cake.

So I guess the moral of this entry is this - unless you're willing to step into my shoes for a day do not criticize me about my hair, my cooking and, never, ever criticize me about the way I raise my kids!


greenfish6633 said...

as I just got off the phone with you. I feel the need to say, I LOVE YOU! I'm sorry if I ever said anything that seemed like criticism. You are an excellent mother and do a wonderful job being a mom and a wife. As far as the breat feeding I don't have kids, but if I did I'd do it too. the grilling...I don't clean the grill ever so you I'm sure however you clean it is wonderful. Don't worry about your hair ladies always stress the way they look, but at the end of the day the hair doesn't make you who you are.

Donna said...

Don't worry, Sweetie, wasn't any reflection on you.