Wordless Wednesday

Tuesday - News of the Weird

I think I'm going to start making Tuesday's News of the Weird days. This was in one of my baby/parent center types of e-mails/blogs that I receive weekly. Let me just say it's one of those things that makes you say "Huh?" http://blogs.parentcenter.babycenter.com/momformation/2008/12/18/happy-birthday-adolph-hitler/

Santa's List

A blogging/WAHM friend of mine, Nell, over at Casual Friday Everyday, posted a blog about one of her son's list to Santa. It got me thinking about my son's list to Santa. We both have the same concerns - we don't want our children disappointed Christmas morning. Bug's list to Santa this year included a quad - real, gas powered one - and a $300 RC truck kit. Even if this had been a good year financially, I don't think Santa still would have bought those items.
Every year it's the same thing - how to teach Bug that Christmas is not about the presents he gets, but rather what we can give to others and being together with family. This year I've had him actively participate with me in donating what we could to others. For instance, the grocery store does a "giving tree" for the local boys & girls club. I had him pick the child's name this year. And then there was a local family last weekend that had all their presents stolen out of their car. When Bug and I were discussing it, he said "Well, what are we going to give them?". I must admit I was trying to steer our conversation that way, but he got the idea. He thought that one was pretty cool because Mom got interviewed on the news, and Bug kept popping his head around the corner and got in a couple of shots.
This I'm sure of - Bug is definitely understanding the real meaning of Christmas. Sure - I know he'll be a bit disappointed Christmas morning, but it won't last long, and I'll remind him of the real meaning of Christmas.

New Look!

What do you think of my new look? I stumbled across some free backgrounds for Blogger.

As for tagging 4 people - I'm sorry to say I don't know 4 people that consistently read my blog enough for me to tag. So I'm going to do what Tishia did, and just ask 4 people to take on the Fun Blog Picture Meme. Remember to link back to my blog so I can check out your pictures as well.

It's snowing (again!) here in Connecticut. Friday's storm gave us about 10"; today's storm is expected to give us another 6" - 9". It was snowing at 7:00 a.m. this morning when Bug woke us up. I've got to work on that - waking Mom and Dad up at 7:00 a.m. on a Sunday. It's 11:55 a.m. now and still snowing. Good thing I swung by the library and video store yesterday. I got some Christmas movies - like there aren't enough playing on TV anyway - and Momma Mia, which I didn't get out to see in the theater. And then I got some easy read books for myself - Debbie Macomber and Donna VanLierre; some sappy Christmas/holiday themed stories. I think today is going to be a doing laundry/wrapping presents/baking cookies/watching movies kind of day. Actually I think the next few days will be like that. . . time to go snow blow the driveway for the 1st time today. I think on Friday we did it 3 or 4 times.

Fun Picture

Okay so here's the deal. One of my blogging friends did this on her site - Tishia - and so she asked 4 people to do the same. Since I'm pretty much game for anything - I said "pretty much"; I do have my limits - here goes.


These are the Rules:
Open the 4th picture folder on your computer.
Open the 4th picture and post it on your blog.
Explain the picture.
Tag 4 people to do the same!

Here’s My Picture that was the 4th one in the 4th album:

This is a picture of my Bug from March 2006; he was just around 4 years old. This was taken either during or right after a blizzard we had. He loved and still loves to paint, draw, create. So we pulled out the easel, which was Husband's when he was a kid, put on an old t-shirt, and Bug got to painting. I probably still have the painting somewhere in a big portfolio. I miss is cute little boy haircut; he has a cowlick that would always, always poke up. Where in for another storm tomorrow, maybe I'll pull the easle out for him in the morning?

Okay - now I have to tag 4 other people:

A Thought For Thursday

Where do you find your Christmas spirit?

I've heard so many people this year - from family, friends, and on-line friends - say they're just not in the Christmas spirit. So my thought for this Thursday is "Where do you find the Christmas spirit?"

Bug came home from school earlier this week and asked me, "Mom, does Baby Jesus get two presents on Christmas?" I guess I looked at him kind of funny. He said, "You know, two presents - one for His birthday, and one for Christmas." DUH. Ding, ding, ding, We have a winner!

I know for me when I don't feel like I'm in the Christmas spirit I turn off all the specials on TV, stop wrapping presents, and just sit and listen to some traditional Christmas music - Hark the Herald Angels, Away In A Manager, What Child is This, Silent Night. For me remembering that Christmas is really about the birth of Jesus, our Savior, helps me stay in / get back into the Christmas spirit. It's not about the presents under the tree, the decorations around the house, the cookies/pies/meals you've made, but the birth of one special Child.

Return of Wordless Wednesday

I know it's been a while but check out this mug. . .

So Much Going On

I can't believe how quickly the last few weeks have flown by. Between the chaufering, cooking, cleaning, working, cuddling, kissing boo boos, applying ice packs, driving to Indiana, visiting with family, shopping, baking, working, exercising . . . I know I've left something out, the weeks seem to fly by.


We had a wonderful trip out to the mid-West to visit my family, and a quick jaunt to Las Vegas for a belated anniversary trip - 10 years!!!! The kiddos really enjoyed spending time alone with their Poppie and Grandma too. And they were awesome on the car rides - we drove straight through both going and coming.

But it seems like every year is the same. I really do start out with the best intentions - getting all the Christmas shopping, dinner planning, house decorating, family picture taking, cookie baking done so that I can actually enjoy the weeks leading up to the holiday and so I'm not in a frantic rush. But here I am again - mailed out packages to Iraq a few days late (I hope the good, old USPS can get them there in time); still shopping for gifts to send out to my family; still shopping for some presents for friends and family here. Oh, well, maybe next year!

I think a new tradition was born this year though - and I'm kind of feeling bitter sweet about it. I've been hustling and bustling so much that when we got the tree last week, and Hubby resolved the leaking tree stand issue - I got the lights on it, but then I let my 6 year old Bug decorate it. He did a decent job of it, and I resisted the urge to re-arrange every single ornament. Okay - I did move a few but the branches were so weighed down I was afraid the entire tree would tip over. Bug did a lovely job and I'm very proud of how mature he's gotten just over the last few months. He's really becoming a big helper. Maybe I can actually sit back, relax and really enjoy the season and remember what's important this holiday season.

And She's Off. . .

That's it folks. Budha's off and walking!!! Today she actually chose to walk more than crawl so I know life as we know it is over. Actually, life as Bug knows it is over. As I was cooking dinner tonight I could hear "Mom, she's getting into my stuff!" "Mom, she's taking my homework!" "Mom, can you pleeeaaazzzeeee come get her!" "Mom, we need a fence around my stuff so SSHHHEEE can't get it!" Oh the joys of having an elementary school aged child and a toodler!

Wordless Wednesday

Finally!

My Heart Hurts

My heart is hurting tonight. For weeks I haven't been able to sleep. Hell, for years I haven't had a solid nights sleep, but it's been worse than ever lately. My brother is halfway around the world in a God-forsaken place. I don't sleep because I worry about him. And then I get an e-mail that insinuates that I don't care about him because I haven't sent him any care packages. What the *&^#! I'm hurt and pissed both at the same time. I want him to stay focused so he does his job and stays safe. But another part of me is royally pissed at him for equating how many packages or e-mails he gets with how much I love him. And then, knowing there's tension between the family and his girlfriend, I try to extend an olive branch. She asks for advice on how to get my parents to trust her and like her. So I take 4 days to think it over, and word everything the best way I can, only to have her forward my answer to my brother. So much for trust! So much for trying not to upset my brother! So not only am I worried about my brother's physical safety, but I'm worried now that our relationship will be destroyed, and for what. For someone that asked me to trust her but couldn't show me the same consideration. I feel so sick right now. It hurts so bad.

Do You Ever Feel . . .

Like you don't belong. I'm in a funk these days and I just can't seem to get out of it. I don't know where I belong. I love being a mom - love watching my kids grow and mature, love watching them interact. I love being a wife - having someone to share moments with, someone to cuddle with, someone to make love to. I love being a WAHM - setting my own hours, finding the balance between work and family. I love volunteering at my son's school - letting him know that I'm there for him, watching him succeed, meeting other parents. But lately I don't know where I belong. When I'm with the kids, I feel like I should be working more. When I'm working, I feel like I should be cleaning/straightening up around the house. When I'm cleaning, I feel like I should be spending more time with my husband. And then there's me time. Whenever I have a free moment - usually a fleeting, free few minutes, I just want to be alone vegging out or reading a book or magazine. Even on those rare occassions that I try to do something special for me, it usually ends up a disaster. Take yesterday for example. I was supposed to get up, take the kids to school/daycare, go to the gym and then head out to hang with my BFF at one of the casinos for a while. The day started out ok enough. My husband took Budha to daycare; I took Bug to school and then went to the gym. Well between a check in with my trainer, taking care of errands at the bank and post office, I didn't get on the road until 11:00. Then I went the wrong direction on one of the highways and ended up going 30 miles out of my way. So by the time I met up with my girlfriend it was after 12:30 p.m. We had lunch together (which was nice) and then played some slots for about 45 minutes before we both had to leave to get all the kids from school.
When I picked Bug up from school, he was mad at me - not because he had to go to aftercare, but because I picked him up from aftercare too soon. And his mood and attitude just went downhill quickly from there. Budha was all upset with me, too, having had to go to daycare two days in a row. So quite frankly outside of having lunch with my BFF the day - a day for me - sucked!
So the bad/disappointing day coupled with my feeling like I don't belong anywhere has really got me in a funk. And I don't know how to shake it. Right now I just want to curl up in a ball and go to bed.

Overwhelmed

There's been so much going - between work and school, getting into new routines, various family issues - I sometimes feel like I don't get time to breath. My brother shipped off to Kuwait two weeks ago, and today e-mailed me that he's made it to his final destination in Iraq. I try not to worry about him but it's hard, very hard. The night he left he called me as he was waiting for the transport to take off. I could hear a commander or someone in the background yelling for everyone to take their seats and strap in so they could take off. All he said to me was "make them stop fighting." Who? What? "Make them stop fighting." I've been trying to come to terms with what he was asking me to do - make people that he cares for stop fighting. I've come to realize that I would rather have another c-section - without anethesia - than try to attempt that. Why? Why would he put me in the middle? Does he really trust me and value our relationship that much? I know I do; and after our conversation in July, I realize he does too. He knows I can remove myself - detach my feelings - and look at both sides with an objective eye. And that I would have no qualms about telling people where to go and how to get there, and drawing a map if they needed directions. I just hope for his sake that the people involved can at least be civil to each other. And I for my part will keep being objective and looking at everything from all perspectives for him, and in the end, when he's home safe and sound (God willing) I'll be able to shed some light on all these problems for him and really make the fighting stop.

Wordless Wednesday

Momma's Sleeping Angels(?)

Mom Song

This video is hilarious! You've got to check it out!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RxT5NwQUtVM

Wordless Wednesday

Budha's lovin' her birthday cake & ice cream!

Wordless Wednesday

My Little Man is Growing Up

I held on until I saw some other mommies cry. Bug started kindergarten (again) this morning. At first we were like "been there, done that." But then kids started crying and moms starting crying, so what did I do - waited until Bug was inside and then I started crying. I missed the whole first week of school last year - a little matter of Budha being born. He looked so big compared to all the other kids; last year he was one of the smaller ones in his class. I was so proud of him this morning - he got up, got dressed and ate breakfast all without me yelling at him to get moving. Eating breakfast at home is a HUGE deal for us - last year he always ate on the 15 minute ride to school. I really hope this is a sign of how the rest of the year will go. We'll see what tomorrow brings.

Baby Love

This week alone I think I’ve seen no less than four article titles about knowing how your baby / child loves you. I don’t know about anyone else but I don’t need someone else to tell me how to tell if my baby / child loves me. They each show me every day how much they love me in the little things they do.
Bug – for as much as he tells me he wants a new mommy – I know he loves me when he asks me to cuddle with him and watch a favorite TV show, or to take the time to play a game or just sit and color with him, or when he asks to help me cook, or even when he says “Thank You” – yes, there are kids that still say “Please” and “Thank You” – for making a meal for him. Or the times that he will just come up to me and hug me.
Buddha is learning to give kisses. Oh – baby kisses! Those opened mouth, drool laden, wet kisses that can land any where on your face – your check, your nose, your eyes, your mouth. Then there are times when she’s tired that she snuggles into my neck and rubs my arms or plays with my hair. Oh, and let’s not forget the early morning cuddle fest – where she’ll go from Hubby to me, back to Hubby, and then back to me, laying on our chests, like she’s comparing who’s more comfortable.
So even though they don’t say, “I love you, Mom”, I know my babies love me.

From another Mommy blogger

Nell, another Mommy blogger, over at Casual Friday Everyday is having a contest. You can win a new blog design from Heather of GirlyBlogDesigns.com. Just check out Nell's post and leave a comment. Good Luck!

Wordless Wednesday

What the Husband finds enjoyable. . .

A Conversation with My Brother

A little over a week ago I had a conversation with a man. As I was listening to what he was saying, I wondered when, how and why he had grown up and where did my bratty baby brother go. Where did the last 31 years go? Sitting across from me was not the little boy that would torment me, so naturally I would have to torment back. But rather there was a grown man having a very grown up conversation with me. We discussed – rather he told me – what he wanted in the worst case scenarios. He told me how he wanted things handled. He very candidly told me that he was prepared to at the very least get hurt. He’s accepting the reality of his situation. We hugged and cried. I tried to get him to promise me to be careful. His response, “I have to be. There’s 19 other men that I have to keep safe.” It was one of the best, and worst, conversations I have ever had with my brother. I couldn't help but think that it's not right to be having this conversation with him. I don't want to be having this conversation with my brother. I want to have a conversation about falling in love, getting married, raising kids, the price of gas - anything but this. I know he's not the first military personnel to go war, and I know he probably won't be the last, but its' very different when it's one of your own. Please God, keep him safe!

Counting My Blessings

This morning I couldn't sleep - I was up roaming around the house at 2 a.m. It's been happening more often than not lately. I don't know what triggers it or why it's always at the same time - usually between 2 - 3 a.m. I just wake up. I get uncomfortable and/or get pushed out of bed (for a little thing Budha's becoming a bed hog). Sometimes it just because my mind is racing. There so much going on - so many worries. Money. The Husband's business. My Baby Bro (ok so he's not a baby; he's 31 - he'll always be my little brother.) My own kids. All the other craziness in the world. I've stopped watching the news before I go to sleep hoping that would help. It doesn't. I just sometimes feel like the bottom is falling out. I know a lot of it stems from worry about money and the economy. With me not working a traditional job - yes I'm busy and my freelance work does bring in some money, but it really doesn't compare to having a traditional, steady pay check, I really worry that if the economy gets any worse and The Husband's business gets any slower things will really start to get bad.

Anyway after an hour of roaming around, catching up on my blog reading, checking in on some forums, I was able to fall back asleep. Only to wake up again at 6:00 a.m. to prepare for a tag sale today. As I crawled out of bed, I noticed Bug had crawled into bed with us around 5:00. So there they all lay - The Husband, Bug and Budha - my Blessings. They were all laying the same way. I just stood there and stared at them. One, two, three. My Blessings. And I realized, as long as I have them nothing else really matters. I needed that little pick me up.

Goggling Yourself

Have you ever Goggled yourself? It's pretty cool and a little unnerving that you can just type your name into a search engine and actually get results. The power of the world wide web! I expected to find stuff under my husband's name because of articles he's been in the past for Rock Crawling. He competed for a few years. I never imagined to find myself, but there I was, just a few hits, but there just the same. It was kind of cool because what I found related to one of my "freelance" gigs, and was just a few days old. It was a post with my name in it on a WAHM forum. The timing was perfect because the woman who wrote the post was actually on my list of people to try to call today. Was that fate or what?
Still when I read some of the responses on the forum people had mixed feelings and I think someone even responded, "Run" when talking about the job opportunity. We've all been there. Working from home is an experience of trials and tribulations. Sometimes you get involved in the wrong things; and sometimes you hit on something really good. This particular freelance gig has been good for me. I've been doing it for two years now; I've gotten to know the owner. And I kind of take offense at someone insinuating that's it's a shady deal. The whole issue was because the e-mail server went down for a day, unknown to the owner, so an e-mail to me was returned as undeliverable. Well, I guess that's the downside of being out there on the world wide web - parts of your life are open for all to see and comment on. So it's kind of like reading the paper or hearing the news - take everything with a grain of salt and get on with your life.

Wordless Wednesday

Enough Criticism Already

I feel that I'm the type of person that can take constructive criticism and not take it to heart. But enough is enough already. Sunday was Father's Day, but around here it felt more like Let's Criticize Donna Day. From my new haircut to how I'm raising my children, I got criticized all day long from my in-laws and my husband. These are some of the comments I got all day long.

I didn't clean the grill well enough.

Even though we keep it in the garage, I should buy a cover for it.

I should stop nursing my 9 month old and force her to take bottles.

I should spend more time away from her because she's too dependent on me and it's not fair to anyone else because all she does is cry when they hold her, and it's really not good for her to be so dependent on me.

"Oh, you got your hair cut." "Yeah, it's a little shorter than I really wanted to go, but I'm getting used to it." "Well, I guess it will grow back."

The grill is my domain. I do the cooking, and the grilling. I do clean it before and after every time I use it with the wire brush. I am not going to use a brillo pad every time - to me that defeats the purpose of cooking on a grill - less pans to clean.

Since when can a 9 month old baby be too dependent on her mother! Seeing as I'm the primary car provider, my husband works 6 - 7 days a week, and we don't have any family that lives close by that I can call on to help out on a regular basis, I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job! I want to nurse Budha until she's a year. I've discussed it with the doctor and we're both on the same page. I didn't get to do it with Bug because I had to go back to work and it just didn't work out for us after about 6 months. What's wrong with breastfeeding? It's the most natural and precious thing I can give to my daughter. And I'm tired of apologizing to people for continuing to breastfeed her - my husband included. I'm tired of people who aren't around to help me or even around to offer help (I do have a tendency to feel I need to do everything myself - especially when it comes to my own family) critiquing how I raise my children. I know I should find some mommy time, but by the same token I can't afford to pay a babysitter just so I can go to a book club or shopping alone. And with no family around for that extra little support. . . well it just really gets to me because it is family criticizing me.

And as for the haircut, I was already feeling self-conscious about it because I haven't had it this short in ages. And then to get the comment I got - it wasn't so much the words as it was the tone they were said in. That was just the icing on the cake.

So I guess the moral of this entry is this - unless you're willing to step into my shoes for a day do not criticize me about my hair, my cooking and, never, ever criticize me about the way I raise my kids!

Wordless Wednesday

A Little Perspective

My modem burned up. It burned up on Saturday night during an electrical storm so I couldn't get it replaced until yesterday - late afternoon. Although I went through e-mail/internet withdrawal, it was well worth. I used the forced down time to reconnect with my kids and whittle away at some tasks on my to do list. It was kind of nice to not be a "slave" to the computer and get some things done that I've been meaning to do. And now that it's fixed, I've decided to re-evaluate my work schedule and focus on my family more. Afterall - that's the real reason why I wanted to be a WAHM! Nothing like Mother Nature forcing me to evaluate what's really important to me and give me a little perspective on things.

Wordless Wednesday

This is what happens now that Budha is mobile.

Wordless Wednesday

Time to Catch Up

I've been remiss in writing for a little over a week. I was out in Indiana visiting my parents and siblings. It was nice to get away from it all for a week. Even the drive out - just me and the two kiddos - wasn't terrible. We did have our trials and tribulations but we all survived it. So now it's back to, well, life - back to school, back to work, back to daycare issues, back to volunteering, back to blogging, back to cleaning the house, back to laundry - have I left anything out? Probably, but you get the idea. First on the agenda is to solve Budha's daycare issue. I actually have an appointment tomorrow with another center (right in town so she won't be doing the hour commute with me and it's another center that Bug went to for preschool). I hope this one will be different, but I think it will be better. After spending so much time with her traveling and at my parents' house, I do realize that Budha does need some kind of daycare, at least a day or two a week. I know she's just 8 months old, but she's so dependent on me to the point that she doesn't want anyone else to do anything for her. She fussed and cried whenever someone else tried to feed her or change her. Only one person - my BIL - was able to get her to go to sleep. She needs to start socializing with other babies and other adults, and so does Mommy for that matter.

Wordless Wednesday

Monday Weigh In (two days late)

Not going so well, but I'm not throwing the towel in. I haven't been below the 170 mark in years!
Current: 168
Lost Last Week: 2 lbs.
Cumm. Lost: 3 lbs.
Goal Weight: 130 lbs.

One of Those Weeks

I'm having one of those weeks. It never fails. It always seems like when I'm trying to prepare everything to go on vacation all hell breaks lose. Buddha has an ear infection (which she's doing well getting over) but the medication is making her have diarrhea. Bug got in trouble at school, and has been late every morning this week - could that be due do Buddha's blood curling screams at all hours because of the ear infection?
The insurance company called today and said that they were paying on a claim from a car accident back in February that wasn't even our fault. As it turns out the copy of the police report turned into our insurance company and the copy that I had from the police department had differences. Tune in for that one; it could prove to be an interesting story.
Because Buddha's been getting sick so much from daycare - we went all winter with one kid in school and no big sickies; 3 months in daycare and stomach flu and now an ear infection - we've decided to pull her out of daycare. The director informed me that even though Buddha's only there one day, I need to give 4 weeks notice. Yeah right! I'm pulling her out because it's costing me money. Like I can afford to pay 4 weeks! Then I told the director that someone deposited my post-dated check before the date and screwed up my checking account. Her response was "Well, it cleared on our end." No *hit, Sherlock. My bank charged me 33.00 so they could clear the check.
To which I responded, "Well, it wasn't supposed to be deposited until Friday. You deposited it on Wednesday, which caused an overdraft on my account and my bank charged me $33.00."
"Well, you should have put a Post-It on it."
"Well, your bank shouldn't have accepted it." Can you tell how this conversation was going? "Consider this notice that [Buddha] will no longer be coming there."
"You'll have to provide that in writing and pay for 4 additional weeks."
"I'll send you something in writing. Bye."
And that's everything that's only happened since this morning. Can't wait for the next two days!

Changes Going On

You may have noticed that I've changed the name of the blog. The new name will be Of Cheerios and Conference Calls. I really think this name change is more reflective of where I am right now. I was preparing for a conference call with a client and in pulling files out of my bag I also found a small Tupperware container of Cheerios for Budha. I thought that was a perfect analogy of being a WAH mom and freelancer. I'm hoping to change the design of the blog too wihtin the next couple of weeks. I hope everyone will like it.

So Frustrating

Budha only goes to daycare 1 day a week - 6 hours to be exact. That's all. I work at a client's office that one day and she makes the commute with me. Part of me is glad that she's there beginning to socialize with other babies, and learning to adapt to her surroundings. But a bigger part of me is so frustrated because she's been getting sick since starting in late January. She's had the stomach flu - that took about two weeks to get over. Now she has an ear infection. She went all winter without getting sick - little sniffles here and there - but nothing major, no fevers. Even with Bug in school, he didn't bring anything home over the winter. What's even more frustrating is that I feel like I'm paying daycare for her to get sick, and I have to pay if she misses because she's sick. So let me get this straight, I'm bringing her to a daycare center and paying them; she picks something up there and gets sick, misses a day because she's sick and I still have to pay. What's wrong with this system?! Between having to pay the cost for daycare that's not being used and then the doctor visit and medicine, it's not really cost effective for me to work for this client.

Great American Photo Contest

I've posted a picture of Amy on the Great American Photo Contest. If you are so inclined, please clink the link below and vote for her. (Luke's too old otherwise I would have posted a nice one of him, too.) You can vote every day!!!!
https://www.greatamericanphotocontest.com/voter1/index.aspx?referid=EmailFriends&p=457580&x=.JPG

Wordless Wednesday

Weekly Weigh In

Okay - so I missed posting yesterday. Weight loss was only 1 pound the first week. At least it was something considering the week I had - sick, 3 leftover birthday cakes, Amy's first trip to the ER. So the cakes are in the trash. I'm feeling better. And Amy survived a fall off the bed. No more excuses; time to get down to business. I'm scheduling work out time like I do my clients.


Beginning weight - 171
Current weight - 170
Goal weight - 130
Total lost to date - 1 pound

Bad Mommy

Let me begin with Wordless Wednesday - Budha's giggle fit was caused by Bug hitting himself on the head with a small catalog. She's taking pleasure from her brother's pain. Go figure. I wanted to test this theory, so naturally, I hit myself in the head with a paperback book. She laughed. So she takes pleasure in anyone else's pain! Great!

I know in my head I'm not the worst mommy on the planet. But when your child gets hurt, no matter how unintentionally, you feel like the scum of the earth. Last night Budha rolled off the bed onto the hardwood floor. She was sound asleep in the middle of our king size bed - we co-sleep, especially since she's still nursing through the night - when I checked on her. Not 15 minutes later, as I was cleaning up in the kitchen, I heard a loud THUD! I knew immediately what it was and went running. I found her face up on the floor on the side of the bed screaming her head off. It took her a while to stop crying, but when she did she wouldn't look at me and if I laid her down she'd start to cry again. So erring on the side of caution, I took her at 9:45 pm to the local emergency room. Long story short, she's fine. A little bump on her head, and probably a little sore, but fine. Mom on the other hand feels like shit. No one got any sleep last night. Bug tried to stay awake to make sure everything was okay, but finally conked out at around 11:00 p.m. The Husband stayed up and waited for us; Budha and I finally got back from the ER around 1:00 a.m. Then about 2:00 a.m. Bug came in our room, crawled up on our bed, gently touched Budha's head, gave her a kiss and cuddled up with us. Needless to say everyone over slept this morning, and I think afternoon naps are in all our futures today.
I know in my head that this happens. Babies roll and get bumps; kids get hurt. I know in my head that I do the best I can for my kids. But my heart was telling me a different story last night. Bad Mommy.

Wordless Wednesday

"Out of difficulties grow miracles."

When I switched my calendar over for the new month yesterday morning, I saw that quote for April. It reminds me of one of my favorite movie quotes – “That which does not kill us, makes us stronger” – from Steel Magnolias. That’s how I try to live my life. I try to take each experience – good or bad – and learn something from it. We all have had some adversity in our lives; some more than others, but we’ve all had bad experiences, rough times whether medical, financial, emotional. Sometimes we have no control over those things. What we do have control over is what we choose to take from that experience. Do you wallow in self-pity? Or do you pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and get back to life? I know it sounds a little cliché, but it is true. You have to choose how to live your life. You have to choose how to deal with problems. You have to choose what’s really important to you and whether you want to fight for it or not. No one else can do that for you.

Monday Weigh In

So today's the day - I'm joining Spring Operation Weight Off for Moms and the first weigh in today. I dread this. I've always dreaded this. I was at my lowest adult weight (125 lbs.) right before I got pregnant with Bug. Well - let's do it!
My current weight: 171
My goal weight: 130

It's Never Ending

Okay so I know wanting a clutter free home when we run two businesses out of the home, and with 2 kids, all the toys and baby stuff and four of us basically living on one floor of our house is an impossible and improbable dream. But is it too much to ask for to clean one room - just one room and have it stay clean for even an hour! I cleaned the living room yesterday with Bug - all that was left to do was take a box of toys and put them away in his room, only to have him say "Great, now I can play with my new Hot Wheels!" So now, needless to say, there are Hot Wheels all over the living room floor.

And what's the deal with everyone - um, Bug and the Husband, taking their shoes and socks off in the living room besides the stench, do they really think those things will just get up and walk themselves to the laundry hamper and closet? It must be a guy thing.

I asked Bug this morning "Where is it written that I'm the maid and have to pick everything after you?" "On your forehead." Do I have a wise-ass for a 6 year old, or what? I stared at him one, in utter amazement that he thinks that, and two, that he had the gall to actually say that to me? The stare must have worked because he suddenly had this look of terror in his eyes, and he immediately got up from what he was doing and picked up his shoes and backpack like I'd been telling him to for 15 minutes. And some of the cars got put away and even some of the groceries got magically put away. And even the Husband started chipping in and picking up. So the moral of the story is Mom has to get near erupting like Mount St. Helens for the anyone to start helping out.

Wordless Wednesday

My Love / Hate Relationship with March

Part of me loves this time of year – the change from winter to spring. The tulips and daffodils sprouting up from their winter rest. The blue jays and robins singing their songs. The freshness in the air. Everyone gets re-motivated to start new projects. Everything/everyone seems to have a new energy about it.

But on the flip side – there’s the rain. The chilly kind that hurts your bones. If you’ve ever had a break or injury you know what I mean. And the mud. Bug is a mud magnet. If there’s mud outside he’ll find it. He found it the other day before changing out of his school uniform, and not only did his shoes find it, but his legs, butt, hands and face. UUGGHH! And then there’s my fffaaavvvooorrriiittteee – March Madness. Are you a March Madness widow? I am. I’m lucky if I get a “Hi, hon, I’m home” before he turns on ESPN, and checks his brackets. He used to much worse – he wouldn’t even eat dinner at the table. Before we had kids, I just gave in and we ate in the living room so he could watch the games. But now, I make him sit at the table with us. Sure – he basically swallows his food whole, but he’s at the table. At least until we get down to the Final Four. That’s when not even it being Easter, or Bug’s birthday or even his birthday, or an act of God would get him to move away from the TV. But I guess it’s only, what, three weeks out of the year.

Wordless Wednesday

Applesauce Makes It Better

I remember as a little girl my mom having to give me medicine in pill form and I would inevitably throw it back up. Even baby aspirin would make me gag. But low and behold, all she had to do was crush it up and mix with a little applesauce and all was right with the world again. Now 30-someodd years later, I'm doing the same with my baby girl - not giving her medicine, of course, but just getting her to eat the variety of baby food that would make a grown adult gag. Honestly, all I have to do is disguise some pureed chicken with some applesauce and Budha will gladly eat it. Plain pureed chicken and she gags like I'm making her eat the dirt of my shoe. Oh, the miracles of applesauce!

I'm So Excited

Okay- so not only has Spring officially arrived on the calendar, the temperatures are even rising to the point I can open the windows, but I started writing on a group blog! Check out the Jobs Online Community Blog - http://justonlinejobs.com/blog/ - joining others that work from home. I'm excited about writing more about working from home - something I've been doing full-time since August 2006 and something I'm passionate about. For me working from home has been the best way I've found to balance family and work. There's a great group of bloggers there so be sure to check it out.

And since I forgot to post yesterday, here's a sweet pic of my kiddos that I did mean to post for Wordless Wednesday.

I Was Young Once Too

Bug hasn’t had an easy time of it this school year. Starting kindergarten is hard enough. Having your new sister be born on the first day and your mommy be in the hospital for the whole first week of school makes it even harder.
We had fully expected that Budha would be born the beginning of October, not the end of August – and certainly not the first day of school. Bug dealt with things like a trooper, but it hasn’t been easy for him. He started off going full-days, but after the first month or so switched to 3 half-days a week at the teacher’s suggestion. I do my best to let him get a full night’s rest; and I know he sleeps well. Every night we pack his bag, make sure his uniform is ready, and snacks and/or lunch is ready. Yet every morning it’s a race to get him to school on time. Every morning I’m continually dragging him out of bed and threatening every type of punishment under the sun to have him get dressed and eat something. I do follow through on the punishments, but the need to get up and get going just doesn’t get through to him. But on days off, he’s the first one up and will even get dressed if there’s something he wants to do.
This week he started a new deterrent – “but Mommy, I’m sick. I can’t go to school.” Now I don’t know if this is starting all of a sudden because the rest of us have been sick with the creepy stomach crud that’s been going around, and he was feeling left out for not getting it. (He should be very thankful he didn’t get it.) Or if he’s just trying a new way to get to stay home. But as terrible as I felt (from the stomach crud), I did stick to my guns, made him get dressed each and every morning so far this week, and got him to school – only 5 minutes late one day.
When we got home from school yesterday, I put Budha down for a nap and sat down with Bug. I explained to him that Mommy was little once too, and had to go to school like him. And like him, I would tell Grandma that I didn’t feel good and couldn’t go to school. Bug asked “Why? Didn’t you like school?” I did like school. I had friends. I was a good student – A’s and B’s when I got older. I just didn’t want to go – even now I don’t really know the reason or remember it. When I asked Bug why he didn’t want to go to school, he told me it was because it wasn’t fun and they gave a lot of hard work to do.
I couldn’t very well argue with that. A lot of what I’ve been hearing in talking to other parents is that schools do expect a lot more out of kindergarteners now. He’s expected to begin to read by the end of the year and know at least one sound for each letter of the alphabet. He can count to 100 and beyond. He’s learning about addition and subtraction. He takes a computer class every week.
So I took a different approach, I asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. He said he wanted to be a builder like Daddy. So I showed him ways that Daddy had to use math and reading in work. This didn’t work so well. He asked “Was Grandma mean and make you go to school, like you do with me?” I said, “Yes, she was. Grandma made me go to school all the time. But you know what?”
“What?”
“I’m glad she did.”
“Why?”
“Because it helped make me smart. Mommy wouldn’t be able to work from home or help Daddy with his business, and do all the things on computers, and be able to teach you things if I didn’t go to school. Don’t you want to be able to teach your kids things?”
“That’s too far away, Mom.”
“Well, you need to start somewhere and you have a lot to learn.”
“You mean I still have to go to school for a long time.”
“Yes, dear, you do.”
“Well, I’m not going to college.”
“Well, we can discuss that later. Let’s do your homework.”

Wordless Wednesday

It worked for Dorothy. . .

There's no place like home. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

I wish this creepy stomach crud would be gone. I wish this creepy stomach crud would be gone. I wish this creepy stomach crud would be gone.

"click, click, click"

Wordless Wednesday

Useless Things You've Always Wanted to Know About Me

Here's a list of little known - or cared for - things about me:
1. What is in the back seat of your car right now? old Avon catalogs, Budha's baby stroller, a wicker basket, a front windshield sun visor, an umbrella, shopping cart seat cover, box of Kleenex, and probably some empty cardboard boxes.

2. When was the last time you threw up? Last Friday. The creepy stomach crud has invaded our house.

3. What's your favorite curse word? God ----it - sorry to say I've been saying it a lot lately with this creepy crud

4. Name 3 people who made you smile today? Amy, Luke, Adrian - I haven't been around anyone else yet today.

5. What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Pushing Luke into the front doors at school - 5 minutes late

6. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Paying bills

7. What will you be doing 3 hours from now? With the way things have been going, changing the baby's diaper, the changing table, giving her a bath to clean up the creepy crud, scrubbing my hands until they're raw and then Lysoling everything down again for the uptenth time.

8. Have you ever been to a strip club? Nope

9. What is the last thing you said aloud? Talk to you later.

10. What is the best ice cream flavor? Anything that's chocolate, peanut butter, strawberry, vanilla, cookies n' cream - get the idea.

11. What was the last thing you had to drink? Cold coffee

12. What are you wearing right now? Yoga pants (like I do yoga), a t-shirt and fleece jacket.

13. What was the last thing you ate? Total Raisin Bran - I'm tired of dry toast and tea

14. Have you bought any new clothing items this week? No.

15. When was the last time you ran? Does to the bathroom count?

16. What's the last sporting event you watched? Some of the UConn girl's basketball game last night

17. Who is the last person you emailed? Someone from the research company I sometimes work for.

18. Ever go camping? Yes - we own a camper.

19. Do you have a tan? ROFL!!!

20. Do you drink your soda from a straw? Depends - out at a restaurant, yes. If I have it at home, no.

21. What did your last IM say? Haven't IM'd in a while

22. Are you someone's best friend? I hope so

23. What are you doing tomorrow? I really don't know yet.

24. Where is your mom right now? Umm - probably at work.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? A picture of my grandma holding Luke when he was a baby

26. What color is your watch? Haven't worn worn in months.

27. What do you think of when you think of Australia? The Sydney Opera House

28. Would you consider plastic surgery? Yes.

29. What is your birthstone? Garnet

30. Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Drive thru

31. How many kids do you want? 2

32. Do you have a dog? nope

34. Last person you talked to on the phone? Adrian.

35. Have you met anyone famous? Actually met - no. But I literally bumped into Kevin Spacey, but didn't realize it was him until my husband came up and said to me "Did you know you just bumped into Kevin Spacey?"

36. Any plans today? Take care of Budha; pick up Bug from school; do laundry; make dinner; wash dishes; Lysol the crap out of everything.

37. How many states have you lived in? Just one - Connecticut.

38. Ever go to college? Yes.

39. Where are you right now? Here

40. Biggest annoyance in your life right now? This creepy stomach crud

41. Last song listened to? Whatever was on the country radio station when I was driving Bug to school.

42. Are you allergic to anything? Dogs, cats, horses, hay, other animals, pollen, dust - do you want me to continue.

43. Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? Slippers

44. Are you jealous of anyone? Not really.

45. Is anyone jealous of you? Yeah - right!

46. What time is it? What's a matter - can't you tell time?

47. Do any of your friends have children? Yes.

48. Do you eat healthy? I try to, but every once in a while an Oreo forces it's way into my diet

49. What do you usually do during the day? Depends on the day

50. Do you hate anyone right now? That's such a strong word, but no, at least not today

51. Do you use the word 'hello' daily? Yes.

52. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? I'll never tell.

53. Have you ever been to Six Flags? Yes - but thought it was a waste of money.

54. How did you get one of your scars? Trying to use my head to open a storm door.

Wordless Wednesday

Like father, like son.

Change of thought

I started writing about how disturbing the news has been lately. But I decided I needed to think happy thoughts and try to fill my life and my family's with positive influences. Don't get me wrong - I'm not going to bury my head in the sand. But I don't want to be overwhelmed with fear and worry all the time. With all these home invasions - during the day even - I worry becuase I'm home with my kids during the day. I will be vigilant but I won't be fearful. I want my kids to feel safe and protected but not trapped. So on with happy thoughts. . .


Nothing compares to watching my children grow and develop. Even Bug, who's almost six years old, never ceases to amaze me. Just when I thought he couldn't be more self-absorbed, Saturday morning he put all the perishable groceries away for me - without me asking - while I was nursing Budha (Itty Bitty's new name because she's no longer itty bitty). I was truly amazed at his maturity for realizing that some of the groceries needed to be put away quickly and taking it upon himself to do it for me. I thanked him, gave him some tokens (our reward system), and asked him "why?" He told me "because you have a lot to do Mom, and you were feeding the baby." I made a point all weekend of telling him how much I appreciated that he did that for me.

Last night I was at a meeting, and had to bring Budha with me just because scheduling, she was a wonderful baby though and didn't fuss much or interrupt the meeting - only at one point when she sneezed, the pacifier flew out of her mouth and she started laughing at herself. Everyone around the conference table stopped and started laughing along with her. It was the first time she's laughed at herself. She just started laughing at me within the last week.

So those are my two happy thoughts for the day. To remind me how beautiful life really is even though some of society is really disturbing and warped.

Random Things

Another momma blogger I read had this on her latest post, so I'd thought I'd try it here.

Five Random Things About Me:

1. I find it hard to delegate work. This pertains to when I worked outside the home and even housework tasks. I'm getting better. Heck, if I didn't let my husband fold some of the clothes everything would stay in a laundry basket wadded up. (But I secretly refold the towels ssshhh.)

2. I met my husband in a bar/dance club 12 years ago. He kissed me that first night - that freaked me out a little bit. But we talked for about 8 hours the next day on the phone. The rest is history.

3. I LOVE any kind of cheesecake.

4. I have to have at least a sip of coffee in the morning before anyone can talk to me.

5. My BFF and I have been friends for (GULP) 22 years!

Five Places I'd like to visit or visit again

1. Disney World (again)

2. Hawaii

3. Nashville, TN

4. The Black Hills of South Dakota and Wyoming

5. The Outer Banks of North Carolina

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

For your viewing pleasure. . .

Wordless Wednesday

The hard way of learning what not to do as a novice snowmobiler.

You can't tell from the pic but it was swollen up twice as large, too.